Is Your Inner Goalie Keeping You From Scoring?
Last week I was watching my daughter's soccer team try to score on the goalie and with little success. I noticed that it wasn't just that the goalie was good at blocking the kicks, but that the offense didn't have the drive and confidence that said "I want to score this goal." How true that is with so many people. Sure, there are external blockers that prevent us from scoring the goal, but how bad did you really want it? Did you truly give it your all, or was the goalie in your head blocking better than the one standing in front of you?
The question here is, are we being totally honest with ourselves? Sure, there can be legitimate reasons for not suceeding, but seldom do we admit, or even recognize, that the internal drive just wasn't there. We all have choices. How do you choose to prioritize what is important to you, or what has to get done? What motivates you to take action and more importantly, maintain it?
So let's look closer at when the inner goalie is keeping you from reaching your goals.
Experience Life magazine refers to these as "goal-blocking obstacles" for which I have narrowed down to three influential impediments:
- Time limitations
- Choices
- Fear
Obstacle #1: Time limitations. "Beneath the almost universal complaint that there just isn't enough time is the universal truth - we control our time (April 2008)." If your goals have a realistic timeline, deadline, or delivery date then you will plan accordingly to get it done. So if you have a specific deliverable and due date with your new product development cycle, or you hold weekly executive team huddles, your chance of success is much better. What adjustments can you make to your calendar to make this time commitment sacred?
Obstacle # 2: Choices. Sometimes we make decisions with a lot of thought, other times not so much. When you pause long enough to reflect on your actions, it gives you the chance to recalibrate your choices. Many people find success in doing this through meditation, exercise, or something calming- that has nothing to do with the task at hand. This also brings awareness to what you are actually doing and not doing. A great business coach once said, "if you look at what you're doing instead of what you want to do, it is pretty clear what you're committed to." How do you choose to use your time? How conscious are your decisions? Are your choices consciously congruent with your goals?
Obstacle #3: Fear. We set goals to enhance or change things, but during that process do we actually contemplate what the desired results may actually bring? As exciting and rewarding as the goal may be, it does bring about change, which often in turn causes fear. Some people may be too comfortable with the status quo or their old habits to truly want to reach new levels. Fear could also show up in the let-down of "now what?" when the goal has been achieved. When branching out from yourself, how will accomplishing this land with people around you? Clinical psychologist, Cheri Anisman suggests to recruit your inner coach, not your inner judge when you find fear blocking your success. Ask yourself, "what kind of person would it take to overcome these challenges and achieve this goal?"
Confronting and removing your internal goalie is the best way to succeed. First you must notice that it exists and then make choices that get you back in the game. Enlisting teammates is a helpful way to uncover your blind spots as well as support and motivate you to keep moving ahead. Engaging a peer, colleague, spouse, mentor, trainer, coach or other resource can help you when you are stuck. For additional information, feel free to contact me at kim@mycoachinmotion.com
What choices are you making that may be preventing you from meeting your goals?
The Active Pursuit. . .
What dialogue are you having with yourself that is creating goal-blocking obstacles? Here is a replay of how to outsmart and score on your inner goalie:
 Time Limitations:
What are the milestones and deadlines for achieving your goals?
What arrangements have you made to your schedule that will allow you to accomplish your tasks?
When is the best time for you to accomplish the less-desirable tasks?
Choices:
What are you actually doing, rather than wanting to do?
How do you make thoughtful decisions?
What do you need to do differently to get different results?
Fear:
What will happen if you choose to do this differently and how will that play out?
How does your inner goalie triumph over your inner coach?
What can you do to make your inner coach stronger?
. . .of Excellence
What we're raving about now . . .
 The Breakthrough Company: How Everyday Companies Become Extraordinary Performers by Keith McFarland - the book is for executives who want to grow their companies from an entrepreneur enterprise to a sustainable business. At some point in a business growth, being smaller and faster stops being a competitive advantage, this book helps develop other strategic advantages.
 Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions, by Dan Ariely. From the website: "Do you know why we so often promise ourselves to diet and exercise, only to have the thought vanish when the dessert cart rolls by? Do you know why we sometimes find ourselves excitedly buying things we don't really need? Do you know why we still have a headache after taking a five-cent aspirin, but why that same headache vanishes when the aspirin costs 50 cents?" It is an interesting and sometimes humorous book on human nature and how we tend to act irrationally in a predictable way. It can help shine a mirror on your own unfounded decisions as well as understand the motivations of other people.
Ideas in Motion
You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.
- Vince Lombardi
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday
- George Carlin
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